Dubitāre: The Making of a Leader [A story about Advesperascit]
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Dubitāre: The Making of a Leader [A story about Advesperascit]
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Posted 2021-09-19 03:46:45 (edited)
It is for everyone who has expectations set upon themselves, by yourself or anyone else, and tries to live up to them, no matter the cost. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The humid air of the rainforest lingered stubbornly today, and not even the piercing rays of sun through the canopy seemed to dissipate it. Advesperascit looks up through the filtered light and blinks. The fog seems... more blue than usual. As is his duty, he sits at the entwined vines between the soaring buttress roots of his land's tallest and grandest tree. From that shaded vantagepoint, he oversees his pack as they begin to stir. As is his duty, he will assemble the hunters and send them on their missions. As is his duty, he will advise the scouts and listen to their reports. Then (as is his duty), he will roam the boundaries of his homeland and clear it of any threats. He does this duty, unflinchingly. For his pack. This is of the utmost importance. It is what he was born to do. He will return, here, at the end of each night. He will not heed the call of the open air or allow it to pull him away, far away from the soaring rainforest canopy to chase the bleary silhouettes of friend or foe. He will not permit the stars to beckon him, or the moon to charm him as it glints off the ocean waves, the night birds inviting, coaxing, mesmerizing- A sharp mournful howl snaps him back to the present. The mist is swirling. The pack is agitated. Something is wrong. Advesperascit springs to his feet, heart racing. Half-formed thoughts flitted hummingbird-rapid though his head: Had he really let his mind drift for that long? Did he forget to check a border last night? Or distribute the food evenly? Could he have - no - did he - ? Taking steadying breaths to (try and) calm himself, he darts his eyes around the clearing, ensuring all the pups are present and accounted for. So preoccupied is he with the headcount, he almost misses the four sullen hunters emerging from their den, one member of the team conspicuously missing. Before the remaining hunters' voices chorus with the sound of his name, Advesperascit knew. Misty Mourning, known as Hiraeth to a chosen few, the last of the pack's starborn, is gone. And with him, Advesperascit's last connection to the world of his parents. |
 Zea #27549 |
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Posted 2021-09-19 03:47:05
Little Advesperascit's ears perked up instantly as he pranced from paw to paw. "To the forest? And how Dad protected everyone from a BEAR?" Hiraeth growled, rearing on his back legs and swishing his paws like a grizzly, "Ah, I see you remember that one!" "That's because it's the cooooolest!" the little voice squeaked in excitement as he headbutted the 'bear' in front of him. Hiraeth play-roared in annoyance, gently swatting at the small ball of energy. Aces Low watched the tussle gratefully, as she had attempted (mostly unsuccessfully) to get her son to sit still for a lesson in ambushing for most of this past morning. "Addy, you know that Misty can't tell you a story unless you sit still and listen like a polite wolf," his mom suggested gently, smiling. Advesperascit knitted his brow and squirmed (with Misty's leg still in his mouth), clearly tasked with making an extremely difficult decision. Hiraeth quieted and allowed him to ponder the promise of a story against the excitement of a wrestling match. After a short while, Advesperascit provided his answer by spitting out Misty's paw and sitting down expectantly, just long enough for Hiraeth to clear his throat and take a breath, before he was summarily tackled by the excitable black blur. Aces smiled knowingly at Advesperascit's muffled squeals of laughter as he clamped down on the scruff of fur on Misty's neck, holding on as he shook his shoulders and pranced around in an attempt to buck the small assailant off his back. The oldest wolf in the pack, Benny, a migrant who hailed from the North but seemed particularly hesitant to leave as of late, was watching the impromptu wrestling match with considerably more disdain. "Advesperascit!" she chided. "How can you ever expect to be a good leader unless you can calm down, control your impulses, and listen when your pack mates would like to tell you something?" she scrutinized the hyperactive pup with obvious disapproval, and shook her head slowly. Advesperascit opened his mouth and let out a concerned whine, releasing his hold on Misty's scruffy blue fur. Unable to keep his balance, he tumbled down into a dusty heap. Misty protectively stood over Advesperascit and curled his lip at Benny. "He is but a child!" Hiraeth growled as he nosed the droopy pup to his feet, praising, "And he will be a great leader, just like his father, with the strength and enthusiasm he's shown me today." Aces shooed them away and turned to Benny, hackles raised, trying (and failing) to disguise her scorn. "You have no right to scold him for doing nothing wrong!" "Why, Ace, dearie." Benny replied, her voice dripping with sweetness, in stark contrast to the anger and annoyance directed at Advesperascit, "I just want what's best for us, and the pack. Don't you agree?" Her words were slow and pointed like her pawsteps as she walked around Aces, "That composure and wisdom are essential for a lead to have?" She bowed her head and took on a strangely submissive, crouching pose, taunting Aces to react. Aces Low stiffened and raised her tail. "Our pack thrives on strong leadership. You've seen how our hunters and scouts are always busy; they don't need to be babysat. Our lead is supposed to protect our territory and keep us safe from intruders. Advesperascit will be a great leader, in spite of your unhelpful suggestions!" She scraped her claws into the ground in agitation and drew away, ready to rejoin her son. "In spite of me?" Benny contested, incredulous, belying her old age and quickly leaping around to block Ace's path. "Was I not the one who traveled across many lands to show you how to properly instruct your children?" The sweetness was gone from her voice. "Without me, you would still be relying on only your gossiping pupsitters who do no more than ensure their wards didn't fall off a cliff or some such nonsense. Because of me, all of your pups are learning so much more, and will grow into better adults," she gloated confidently. Aces's face fell and her tail dipped, briefly and ever-so-slightly, but enough for Benny to notice. She did not let this lapse go unpunished. "Ahhhh, darling, you know I am right. That's why your other pack mates entrusted me to guide the next generation. Perhaps it's time you deferred to their judgement and paid me a little more mind!" she lowered her voice and drew closer. "Kolka and I had to earn our place as leader. We didn't get it handed to us like a lame elk. You say he's blessed? That his black fur is an omen? I say he's just another wolf that needs to prove his worth before he is allowed to stay!" Benny emphasized her statement by nipping at Aces' nose. She flinched, and felt the blood run down her muzzle from the small scrape. "As a reminder," Benny sang as she jauntily trotted off towards the pupsitters, her demeanor changing instantly as though this confrontation never happened. No one else seemed to notice, or if they did, they quietly averted their gaze. --- Meanwhile, out of earshot, Misty was trying to entice a less eager Advesperascit to play again, but all he could manage was a few halfhearted pounces at Misty's swishing tail, its mottled blue hue vaguely glowing in the setting sun. After the third time failing to catch it, he asked the question Misty knew was on his mind. "Will I be a good lead like my dad?" he wondered, distantly. Misty was quick to reassure him. "Of course you will, champ! Remember w-" "But Benny said-" "Pay no mind to what Benny said," Misty interrupted, a bit too forcefully than intended. "I've been in this pack longer than she has, and I know you have just what it takes to be a great leader!" Misty smiled encouragingly. "We'll make sure you're ready. And you can practice by learning how..." he stood up and bopped Advesperascit on the head with his tail, then waggled it invitingly, just out of reach. Misty had to stifle a yelp as the reinvigorated pup nabbed it and bit down hard with his first leap. |
Zea #27549 |
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Posted 2021-09-19 03:47:18
Alone in the hunter's den, Advesperascit pays private respects to his old friend. His scent still lingers there, but Advesperascit knows better than to bury his face in the scruff of Misty's neck like he used to when he was a pup. He wasn't sure he could handle the pallid coldness on his nose instead of the comforting warmth it always brought. "Thank you, old friend, for being someone I could count on. Thank you for helping prepare me for my duties here. You were like the father I never got to know. I don't know what I'll do without you, but you've taught me well. I will try to make you and my parents proud. I'll miss your stories, Hiraeth. You always said I should speak to the living… but… I hope I can still talk to you when I need advice. Like I did all those years ago. I hope you have found your final home. May you rest among the stars." he finishes, and quickly performs the starborn ritual he had seen his friend complete for another wolf many years ago. He hardly feels the pain as he cuts his front right paw with his teeth and allows the drops of blood to settle into the ground near Misty's open, unseeing eyes. After Misty's senses were symbolically readied for his journey, Advesperascit lingers, only for a moment, and then steps out to allow the hunters to say goodbye as they wish. He waits at the entrance to offer comforting nuzzles and words to the mourners, thoughts awash in memories. |
Zea #27549 |
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Posted 2021-09-19 03:47:27
The baying of the stalker was the only clue that they were close. The chasers somehow knew exactly where to go and set off quickly after the small creature, and it was all Advesperascit could do to follow them, much less the prey. Straining to see what was happening through the trees, he barely caught a glimpse of his mother biting at the legs of a squealing, hairy pig, before the squeals intensified and the delicious smell of blood flooded Advesperascit's nose. On the way back, with the peccary draped across Aces' back, Advesperascit ran to catch up to the two hunters he was most familiar with. "You did great, champ!" Misty complimented, genuinely. "You kept up really well!" Advesperascit didn't feel great. Although he was hesitant to admit it in front of everyone, it was clear from the way he sheepishly tagged along, eyes darting, hoping no one saw how he seemingly tripped over every root and rock. Although he tried to hide his uncertainty, Misty could see it at once. "Don't worry about understanding everything now. My friends and I have been at it for years! We've had lots of practice, and I'm sure you'll get the hang of it in no time." he cajoled as they loped back to the den as a unit. "Besides, kiddo," Aces said as she trotted up beside them. "You're going to lead the pack!" she offered proudly, clearly unbothered by the large pig she was transporting. "You don't need to be good at everything. That's why you have your pack mates to help you!" Advesperascit knew she was trying to cheer him up, but her words weren't exactly comforting. He can't just ask for help all the time like a pup! He would have to help the rest of his pack mates, too. But that meant he would have to know about everyone, and everything. Benny busied herself with the pups, mostly, but he saw how she would give them advice and guidance. And it always seemed like he wasn't living up to her expectations. Leading seemed like a big responsibility. If he was a scout, maybe he would only need to worry about himself. Advesperascit scrunched his eyebrows at the thought. "Thanks, Mom," he said through a forced smile. "Misty was a scout before he was a hunter, right?" "I sure was!" Hiraeth offered quickly, as a distraction. He knew Advesperascit didn't like to dwell on all the responsibilities of being a lead. Aces shot him an exasperated glance - he would have to learn sometime - but she let it be. He was still young. "What do you look for when you are a scout?" Advesperascit asked innocently. Misty paused before he answered, seemingly mulling over the question. He had much more experience hiding his emotions than the teenager, which was all too well, as that question caused strong ones to come flooding back. Aces knew him well enough to know what was actually on his mind, and her annoyance with him softened. Hiraeth almost wanted to explain how he was looking for something he couldn't find out in the tundra, but decided that was a bit too ponderous of a topic right now for the young wolf. Maybe when he's older. "You look for information, mostly," he answered, taking the diplomatic route. "Things that are important for the lead to know. Like what other packs are doing, how big they are, where they are moving. Where the prey is, if anything unusual is happening. Stuff like that. And be sure to bring some knickknacks back for the pups!" he ended on a positive note, but Advesperascit stared wide-eyed as he plodded along. That was so much to keep track of! "I hear leads make their best and most trusted wolves scouts!" Misty emphasized, a twinkle in his eye as he comically lolled his gaze toward Aces, who was still carrying that peccary and still easily keeping up with the rest of the hunters. "Oh, quit your boasting!" she laughed, jokingly. "You're just jealous that I am the best finisher this pack has ever seen!" she retorted with a grin. "I hope I can be the best at something, mom," Advesperascit said, softly. "I know you will be, dear." |
Zea #27549 |
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Posted 2021-09-19 03:47:41
"Although we all have an idea of when our brothers and sisters are ready to be called to their final home," he begins, "it is always much too soon. We are never truly ready." Advesperascit's eulogy echoes around the jungle, traveling to the ears of his pack before being swallowed by the dense vegetation. This is all too true for him. Misty warned him at the end of his days, and had gently advised Advesperascit on what to say after the inevitable. Yet even he didn't think he would be giving this speech so soon, mere weeks after their first rehearsal. "Misty Mourning was accepted into our pack long before I was, and has touched all of us here in some way. Although we all remember his wise advice, entertaining stories, enthusiasm for the hunt, and preponderance of white-speckled pups, it was not always this way." Advesperascit continued, with Hiraeth's blessing. "One look at his strange glow and otherworldly eyes-" it was all Advesperascit could do to hold it together at this, as unbidden thoughts about how he would never glow again began to surface, "showed that he was not from here - a starborn. When I was old enough, Misty told me of how he started his life looking for that which he had lost. And how, ultimately, that was not how he found happiness." "He once passed on the words his good friend told him: 'Speak to the living.' But it means more than that. It means to not dwell on the past, to not allow it to burden us. I know that Misty would not want for us to mourn for him as long as he mourned memories of where he came from. Because he found home - here - in all of us. And we are all better for it. So let's keep his memory alive for as long as it is a happy one. And speak to him one last time." Advesperascit howls as he finishes his speech in the traditional way; a rising, tumultuous crescendo quickly joined by the voices of the hunters, and the rest of the pack, punctuated by the short warbles of the pups. They howl, calling to the fleeting soul, hoping to catch it, gently ensnare it with the chorus of familiar voices, and wrap it in fond memories on its way to the stars. Each pack member speaks of a time they shared with the departed, so their souls could find comfort in the familiar. In this moment the sound, the air, is a living thing, breathing, vibrating with wishes and hopes and memories and the evocation of crisp still nights when all is well, the pack is here and whole, and voices could be heard for miles. As the stillness returns, they can almost hear Misty respond. |
Zea #27549 |
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Posted 2021-09-19 03:47:53
"Calm down, hon," Benny cooed, entirely indifferent to Misty's clear agitation. "You can't expect me to keep track of all your children, now, do you?" she demurred in the sing-songy voice of hers in a tone usually reserved for the youngest of pups. "It's. Your. Job." Hiraeth breathed through clenched teeth, immeasurably close to losing his patience. Advesperascit squirmed, knowing better than to involve himself in the arguments of the adults, and tried to distract himself with a beetle he found scuttling along the mossy ground. Yet even some other packmates had cautiously stopped what they were doing to eavesdrop and chance sidelong glances at the pair. "Misty, please." Benny dismissed, exasperated. "You have so many pups. What's one or two here and there? If you didn't boink every female that wandered by, we wouldn't be in this predicament." Benny jibed blithely as she began inventorying the rabbit carcasses the hunters had brought back. Misty was taken aback. "I share the gifts my consorts bring with the pack, and I make sure the hunters catch enough food for everyone!" he growled with great restraint, on his very last shred of reason. "That doesn't change the fact that you are a burden to this pack, Misty." "Excuse me?" Misty rounded on her, teeth bared, fur on-edge. "Hey now, Benny, that was uncalled for," a gray striped pupsitter chimed in, to murmurs of agreement and sighs of relief when Misty stepped back with narrowed eyes and was no longer a hair's breadth away from starting a coup. Advesperascit, having long lost track of the beetle and unable to take his eyes off this indelicate display, saw Benny glance around nervously. This in itself was a shock, as he had never witnessed a moment where her moxie was nothing less than pervasive. "Well, I'm busy," she said curtly, and Advesperascit wondered if he was just seeing things. "Why don't you go look for her yourself then?" she dismissed, returning to the pile of carcasses, but careful not to turn her back to Misty. "Oh, I'm so glad I got your permission," he scoffed sarcastically as he stalked away, hurriedly picking up the pace with each step. Advesperascit didn't wait for the same authorization, as he knew he wouldn't get it. Ready to ask for forgiveness instead, he slinked off after Misty as fast and as silently as his spindly legs could carry him. --- If not for the faint blue glow that Misty seemed to continuously emit, Advesperascit would have had no hope of following him. It made him a bit easier to track in the jungle than the prey which easily blended into the scenery. Luckily, Misty was too preoccupied with finding his daughter that he made no attempt to conceal himself or concern himself with checking if he was being followed. As graceless as he was, Advesperascit was not noticed as he tried to follow Misty on his breakneck path through the disturbed vegetation, catching glimpses of a blue blur through the vines as he struggled to keep up. In his haste, Misty galloped ahead, crisscrossing back and forth near the boundary of their territory. Along the way, Advesperascit tried to pick up on the scent Misty had honed in on, faint as it was: undeniably half-Misty but half someone else, tinged with the milky smell of puppyhood. It was difficult, and confusingly mixed with just Misty, maybe a trail the hunters used once upon a time, a different wolf entirely, or the forest animals, or… another wolf? Again? Before he could dwell on it, Hiraeth yelped in alarm as the once-still forest suddenly erupted in motion around him. Vines parted, leaves rustled, birds took wing in a clamor of feathers as a trio of snarling wolves converged on the blue figure, who soon found his escape routes blocked. Advesperascit scuttled behind a fallen log, still outside the circle of wolves, half out of shock but keeping his wits about him enough to remember he wasn't supposed to be here. Panting, he peeked over the log. He had never seen wolves from outside his own pack before. "You don't belong here, starborn," one taunted. "How dare you trespass on our territory?" Before Misty could get so much as a word of protest in, the other spoke up. "You know what we do to trespassers…" He threatened ominously. With a flick of his ear, the other two lept. Misty was able to dodge one, but the other sunk their teeth into the back of his neck. As he tried to shake the attacker off, the third grabbed hold of his hind leg. Misty roared and twisted, but all were out of the range of his snapping jaws. The third wolf quickly recovered from her missed leap and bowled Misty over with a shove, using the leverage of the leg-biter to pull his paws out from under him. She towered over the fallen wolf, smirking. Hiraeth cried out. This was bad. Without thinking, Advesperascit careened out from behind the log and lept for the throat of the smug wolf, exactly what his mother told him not to do in their practice spars. Caught by surprise, she did not have time to react before Advesperascit sheared at the delicate skin. Blood filled his mouth with such rapidity he almost choked. The distraction was enough for Misty to roll vigorously on his side, dislodging the wolf on his back and twisting around to nip at the hindquarters of the one still holding on to his back leg. With a yelp, they released Misty's leg and immediately tried to lunge for something more vital, but Hiraeth was agile enough to dodge. The enemy in Advesperascit's jaws struggled and thrashed, but he held tight. Now, the fight was more fair. Dismayed at the incapacitation of one of their allies, the two red wolves redoubled their efforts. But this time Misty was ready, and he was faster. Spinning in a whirlwind of blue, he positioned himself between them and the locked combatants. With Advesperascit behind him, he did not let the other two circle around him, nor lay so much as a claw on Advesperascit. The enemy in Advesperascit's jaws squirmed, but he held tight. They tried desperately to reach the adolescent clinging to their compatriot, but Hiraeth consistently repelled them. The battle continued like this for an acutely long time, with the other two wolves exchanging feints and bites and blows, occasionally landing some but more often than not being met with a counterattack. The enemy in Advesperascit's jaws stilled. With one last gnash to make sure it was over, Advesperascit abruptly spun around and snapped at the attacker nearest to him. The ground was slick with blood, and his hind feet found no purchase in the sickly puddle. He missed, but it was still enough to cause the remaining two wolves to flee. It was only then that Advesperascit realized he was shaking, and that Misty's leg was bleeding badly. "Are you all right?" Misty asked, his panic subsiding as he checked the black-furred boy over and assessed that, yes, he was. At least physically. Misty was concerned about the foolish grin on Advesperascit's face, the thrill in his eyes, the exhilaration in his countenance. He decided not to mention it now, but have a long talk with Aces later tonight. That is, if they get back in one piece. "Yeah, Misty, I'm fine. Wow. That was-" he couldn't verbalize exactly what it was. Fun. Exhilarating. Empowering. There was no time to think; instinct took over. And he liked it. That wolf would have just as readily killed Misty, if given the chance. But she didn't get one. It made him feel fearsome. Confident. Accomplished. He was a protector. A savior, even. Just like his father, probably. His mind swam with all the ways he could help his pack, all the battles he could win, all the respect he could earn. His den would be the safest place to live. Foes would turn tail at the mere mention of his name. His dreams of grandeur were interrupted. "I suppose I can't reprimand you for following me after what you just did. But you shouldn't be here. We shouldn't be here." He paused, listening to the forest and scenting the air, eyes darting from the young wolf to the dense thicket from which the attackers came, judging the safety of his next action. "Just a moment." Misty furtively padded over to the slain wolf and nudged her body until her nose was pointing west, folding her paws under her in a dignified manner. Delicately, he opened the wolf's eyes and mouth. He muttered an invocation and drew a glyph of a sun in the bloodsoaked ground, then gently blew into the fallen wolf's ears and mouth until his lungs were empty. Advesperascit watched with fascination. "What are you-" "Hush." Misty whispered. "I'll tell you later. We need to get home." "But your leg…?" Advesperascit worried, peeking at the still-oozing wound. "Pay it no mind. We'll find some yarrow or something on the way back. And," he cautioned, anticipating Advesperascit's next question, "don't you dare go looking for my daughter yourself. It's no use turning one missing wolf into three." His tone was harsh and deathly serious. Advesperascit knew not to disobey this time. Misty began to carefully make his way back home, glancing over his shoulder every other pawstep to ensure his ward was following. Then, after a moment of silence, he added, "And… thank you, Advesperascit, for saving my life." |
Zea #27549 |
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Posted 2021-09-19 03:48:45
"PR?" Advesperascit approaches the young scout cautiously, who quickly stands at attention in a show of respect as the lead addresses xem. "Are you ready to join your half-sister on the hunting team? She'll be leading it, now, and I think you'll be a great addition." Advesperascit suggests, conspicuously omitting the reason a spot had opened in the first place. "Yes sir!" Pot Roast answers enthusiastically, ready to prove xemself (and perhaps out-compete xyr older sibling). After the initial excitement, however, xyr quickly turns somber. Advesperascit wonders for only a moment if he had said something wrong, but Pots provides the cause in short order. "I'll, um, have some big pawprints to fill," xe admits. WIth a still-raw pang of sadness, Advesperascit is nonetheless relieved it wasn't anything he said. However, this was no excuse. His pack can't show weakness. "Do you think you are unfit for the duties I have assigned you?" Advesperascit accused, suddenly very serious and stern. "Oh! No, sir, not at all, sir!" Pot Roast defended, standing up straighter but glancing downwards so it would not be seen as a challenge. "I can be a good hunter, I promise, sir! Just maybe… not as good as Misty," xe confessed, deflating slightly. "And you won't be, at least not right away," Advesperascit consoled, satisfied with xyr answer. "But you mustn't compare yourself too critically to Misty. We each bring unique strengths to the pack so that we can work together and be better than we could be alone," he echoes the sentiment his mother told him long ago, halfway trying to convince himself, too. "You might not be the fastest on the team, but with your scouting experience I know you'll be able to find clever ways to compensate so it won't slow you down at all." Advesperascit smiles encouragingly, hoping he did enough to ease the budding hunter's worries. Pot Roast enthusiastically perks up again. "Yes sir! I won't let you down, sir!" PR announces as xe scurries off to join xyr new hunting team, to Advesperascit's great relief. Giving one final glance over the pack, Advesperascit bids them farewell and starts his daily rounds. As he runs away from the den, his ever-present worries about them dissipate. He did what he could, but now, out here, it's only him and the wild. He can finally focus on one thing. Something he knows he can do. Something that doesn't put anyone else at risk. Something that contributes to everyone's safety, he justifies. Any threat, anyone or anything, that could encroach on his territory or harm his pack - he can dispatch or chase away. Tossing his nose and decorum to the wind, he goes wherever it takes him. Even in the far reaches of the north, wolves recognize him. Only the foolish challenge him. True, sometimes he does bring back scavenged carcasses and branches, or bones he digs up when it suits him. But that's not the main reason he runs. He chases the high he felt during his first battle, when he was all that stood between life and death. The one time he felt in control. No politics. No outside influences. Just him and an opponent, locked into the most ancient struggle: kill or be killed. Only the strong survive. And he needs to show his pack that he is strong. He is not sure where he will go, most days. Today, though, it's clear. He knows his destination exactly. He runs north. North until the air is chilled, until the grass is but small scrubby brown things and the lights dance across the sky and the wind whistles over the bay. Near the shore, the moonlight glints off the choppy waves. Where the gulls call as they take wing, their screeches indecipherable to wolf ears, as mysterious as what lies beyond the stars that they appear to touch. North until he finds the place Misty told him about, not so long ago, yet it feels like ages. Where his father found the young thing, in the Tundra. When he was a small, unsteady thing, dull and speckled but still faintly blue. Unsure of himself, unsure of where he belongs. A feeling strangely familiar to Advesperascit, but he dismisses the thought. It's clear where he belongs, he reckons with himself. He has a home. He has a pack. He has a duty. But now, he is alone. And now, he feels free. As though sensing his tumult, the wind picks up, now. Dark clouds roll in, faster than they ought to, the gulls take shelter. Advesperascit knows he should as well. But he doesn't. Instead, he howls, the sound torn from his mouth and scattered through the furor. He howls for Hiraeth, for his pack, for his parents, and the short time he was able to spend with them. He howls until he has no more breath in him. The wind has steadily increased in its ferocity. It whips him around, almost causing him to lose his footing. His fur stands on edge, unbidden. He barely has time to realize that maybe he should get out of here, maybe he should have a long time ago, before lightning crashes and Advesperascit is blinded by the flash. He doesn't hear the thunder. --- Advesperascit shakes his head and rises unsteadily to his feet. The world is calm. He knows this place. But he doesn't. The glint of the ice, the glow of the grass, the luminescent dust in the air. It is all too intense. Bugs glow continuously, and in blue, similar but wholly different to the yellow bursts he is used to seeing. It feels familiar, but slightly... off. It's beautiful. It reminds him of Hiraeth. But then again, everything does, lately. He blinks, trying to clear the glinting from his eyes. It must have been the lightning, he muses. When it storms in the rainforest, the trees muffle the worst of it. He's never been that exposed during a lightning strike before. But no matter how much he blinks, his eyes don't clear. The sky isn't normal. It's green and shifting and glowing. The stars feel so close he could almost touch them. No amount of blinking makes this scene go away. He reaches a paw up to the stars and jumps back with a start. His fur, usually black as night, has a shifting iridescent purple-green hue, swimming and twinkling with pinpricks of light. He scrambles over to the water and looks at his reflection. Sure enough, his dark coat is reflecting the swirling colors of the sky and the sprinkle of stars within. Dipping his paw into the glowing-blue water doesn't wash it away, and even moreso, it doesn't feel like water should. It feels almost repulsed by his intrusion; instead of clinging to his fur, it beads up and falls away like rain on a duck's feather. "Advesperascit," a familiar-but-distorted voice calls. He knows immediately who that voice belongs to, but it is wrong somehow. More ethereal, like everything in this place. He turns with a start and sees why. Misty Mourning, Hiraeth, stands before him, incorporeal, but unmistakably him. He blends into the air around him, blurring the boundary between body and sky. His white spots shift around his fur like wispy clouds over a bright blue sky with a tinge of sunrise. He smiles, and lights up in more ways than one. "Hiraeth! Am I..." Advesperascit can't bring himself to say the word. It's too soon. "No, champ," Hiraeth chuckled, calling him the name he used as a pup. It was strangely affectionate. "It's not your time yet." "Then why…" "I want to show you...." Hiraeth turns and floats inland, paws running on the air as he drifts upward into the aurora, which reaches its blue-green tendrils downward and looks as though it wants to carry him away at any moment. Advesperascit tries to follow, but gravity still binds him to the solid ground. He chases after the blue wolf-shape anyways, who takes him past fields of purple-glowing flowers and rivers coursing with light. Hiraeth stops at a conjunction of the worlds. The air feels thin. The lunar dust is pouring into the sky, pushed by a current that Advesperascit can see but not feel. Hiraeth feels the pull as well, but he stays and grounds himself against Advesperascit's solidity. Advesperascit dares to reach out toward him, nuzzling his shoulder and neck. The fur made more of light than substance yields to his touch and tickles his nose as the particles swirl up and reform. "I can see why you spent so long trying to find this place." "It's incredible, isn't it." Hiraeth agrees. "I'm going to miss you." Advesperascit whimpers, as his confident air that he tries so hard to project begins to crumble. In a rare moment of vulnerability, that he only ever allowed himself to share with one wolf, he shakes as sadness overcomes him. Not only for his friend, but also for his future. His mentor, his advisor, his confidant… here with him for one last time. "I know. And so will I, until we meet again. You are a truly brave soul, Advesperascit. I know the uncertainty you feel with each passing day, and the worry you harbor for the security of your pack. But you must not mourn me too long. I am here now -" Hiraeth soothes as he sweeps his tail upwards, leaving a trail of misty blue dust in its wake, "and you have your pack to help you." Before Advesperascit can protest that no, he should be helping them, a rift seems to tear in the sky. Spirits of all colors fight against the current of lunar dust to join him, carrying with them the melancholy melody of Hiraeth's eulogy howl. The glows are indistinct, some more wolf-shaped than others, some no more than a burst of light, but all part of their pack. His pack. All glowing, brown and green and gold, with the moon in their eyes and the stars in their fur. He recognizes each of them - his hunters, his herbalists, his pupsitters. Immediately, he panics - They can't see him like this! What will they think of their lead, crouching and crying like a lost pup! "It was no small task to bring their consciousness together in the Dreamlands," Hiraeth struggles to make himself heard above the din. "Yet they are here. They believe in you, Advesperascit. You just need to believe in yourself." Misty gleefully joins the coalescence of spirits, mingling with his former pack and sharing in their memories and emotions. They cavort and swirl, twirling with the breeze like falling petals. Advesperascit watches with fascination, squinting against the backdrop of the aurora as it dances with them. Their joy at this reunion is contagious, and Advesperascit rushes to join them. Their consciousness embraces his as he is enveloped in the purl of rushing souls. Indistinct, merging with him and each other in a stream of thoughts that he can't begin to distinguish as they flit by so quickly. But he feels the collective emotion tied with each one, compounding into a feeling of peace. Praise. Happiness. Security. A lightness settles on his soul that he hasn't felt for as long as he can remember. His pack truly feels safe. They truly trust him. And, most importantly, they forgive him. When he makes a wrong choice, they guide him through it and don't think worse of him. When he returns, battered and bruised, they treat him with healing salves and gently reproach him for trying so hard. Their thoughts drown out his until he is mercifully calmed, surrounded by the swirling lights. As suddenly as they appeared, the spirits rise up into the rift from which they came, back to the world of the living. Hiraeth is the only one who remains. "It's time to go home now," Hiraeth breathes in barely a whisper. Advesperascit can see he is struggling to remain here, with him. But the essence is coursing through his body and the shifting aura is reaching down, calling him back to the stars. "Goodbye-" "Pyrrhus!" Advesperascit interrupts. "Call me Pyrrhus." His secret name. Told only to the closest of friends, as those who know someone's secret name understand the essence of their being. Motivations. Vulnerabilities. Namekeepers can help overcome weaknesses brought to light, but they can also exploit them. Up until now, Advesperascit thought that he must do everything on his own. He didn't need a Namekeeper. Hiraeth understands the significance of this admission, and dips his head in recognition. "Goodbye, Pyrrhus, and may you lead our pack to greatness, but be mindful of the toll it takes on you. No one is perfect, nor should they be." Hiraeth speaks, but the sincerity in his eyes reflecting the sparks in his friend's fur tells Pyrrhus everything he needs. "Goodbye, Hiraeth!" Advesperascit calls as he reaches forward one last time. As though coaxing a puppy to follow their mother, Pyrrhus nudges his friend into the sky. Hiraeth releases his hold on the earth and is carried by wings of light across the sky, howling his goodbyes and well wishes. Pyrrhus joins in, and their duet colors the sky with longing and hope and a feeling like the anticipation of spring. Lunar dust flies from his fur as he makes his journey westward until he is naught but a shooting star in the sky and their song an echo in the wind. Pyrrhus runs towards the falling feathers, glowing with the same light as the moon. A lunar feather settles on his nose, and he awakens. |
Zea #27549 |