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Redacted due to Account Closure

Redacted due to Account Closure
Posted 2023-03-03 14:09:00
#969002
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#46178
Posted 2023-03-07 12:37:14
#972057
I finally finished reading everything you have so far. I'm so happy to see that you connected the great library to the main pack lore. It seemed so disconnected before. I'm still trying to understand how the Robotic Eye fits into the hierarchy of gods and what it's relationships are like with other deities. Just more about the past of the Eye, basically. And what is its ultimate goal in watching over the wolves of the prairie? I also want to know more about the keepers of the great library. Where did they really come from?
spotpc
#9204
Posted 2023-03-23 11:45:32 (edited)
#983212
I'm gonna be back and forth as I read, so to keep things tidy I will just edit my comment instead of making many.
Typos/incorrect grammar:
"Her form a tiny" should be "Her form was a tiny" (The Keeper's Athenaeum; paragraph 1)
"They says, snow" should be "They said, snow" (The Keeper's Depository; paragraph 2)
"Lets give you a tour, not many like you these days." should be "Let's give you a tour. There's not many like you these days." (The Keeper's Depository; paragraph 3) also I would recommend reversing the order of the sentences so that the action follows the statement.
"The place is terribly dark you realize." should be "You realize this place is terribly dark" (The Keeper's Museum; paragraph 1) I also would use notice instead of realize.

I'll do more later, but I like the concept.
🌈Wolfryn🐺
#117902
Posted 2023-03-23 12:32:32
#983248
Redacted due to Account Closure
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#46178
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