Onyx

Rust is devastated today. Honestly, it's been a rough couple of moons for her. First, Labradorite chased out most of our last litter. And now Pumice is dead. Pumice was Rust's long time friend and fellow pupsitter. But I think it goes beyond that. I think Rust feels like she lost an ally. An ally against Labradorite.

My mate is not a fan of our current leader. She thinks he's too young, ambitious, and cruel. I support that she opposes him, but I can also see his side of things. He's young, far from the place where he was born, leading a pack that hardly accepts him. He wants to run a well organized pack, but he doesn't realize that he might be going too far for some wolves (like Rust and Jasper). That doesn't mean I like him-he did chase out my pups too, after all-but I do see where he's coming from. Heck, I was even kind of in his shoes-I was the first 'mutie', my parents had. It was weird being the 'black wolf' of the pack, so to speak. I felt different from my packmates, and like they valued me only for the color of my pelt instead of for being me. Rust wasn't like that though; she always saw me first. That's part of why I love her. The feeling of being an outsider did get easier as my siblings joined me. Mel is always so quiet and supportive, yet strong in her own right. It is so nice to have her by my side. Char and Blend add some much needed levity to life in the wild. And sweet little Cassie has such an innocence-it makes me want to protect him from the world. And he sees something in Labradorite, so there must be something in our leader worth loving.

Anyways, there are whispers of rebellion spreading throughout the pack. I worry about what would happen to us if they grow into shouts. I feel torn between my loyalty to my mate and my loyalty to the pack. I don't know what I would do if I had to take sides. Let's hope this sorts itself out without bloodshed.

later
Rust is gone. Gone! She's gone and I'm still here. I want to howl my grief to the stars. Never again will I feel her soft pelt against my own. Never again will she offer words of comfort. Never again will she make me laugh. She will never again stand by my side and watch the beautiful wolves our pups have grown into. She will never get to see Bauxie grow up. . .that would have hurt her the most.

Now that she's gone, I'm the oldest wolf left. I've seen many seasons and accomplished many things. My only hope is that, in the time I have left, I can offer my wisdom to the pack and continue doing what she can no longer do. Once my time here is up, I will rest peacefully knowing I am with my mate once more.

The Next Day
Jasper shared her concerns with me about Labradorite's potential role in Rust's death. As much as I may dislike Labradorite, I am hesitant to believe he would kill one of his pack members. He truly does seem to care about the strength of the pack, even though his idea of strength may not line up with that of many of the pack members. Still, to put Jasper's grieving mind at ease, I did talk to my siblings. I was uncomfortable not discussing it with Cassie, but I agree with Jasper that I don't think he would ever believe the worst of his mate. Besides, he's been a bit distracted with the new pup Labradorite adopted for him-Scorzalite.

Anyways, I managed to catch my other three siblings alone. Mel seemed a little bit skeptical, but not unbelieving. As always, she offered a bit of wisdom in that we should as Rhyolite what she thinks Rusts' cause of death was. I told Jasper that and she's on it. Blend and Char almost seemed excited. Which, honestly, I should have expected. A whiff of trouble, drama, or competition and they're all over it. I don't think they really care if it's true or not-they're just here for the adventure.

I'm glad I could talk to them for my daughter, but. . .it was exhausting. I don't want to be thinking about all this political maneuvering when my mate of many moons has just died. I want to be honoring her memory and taking my time to grieve. But I must care for my pack. They need me now, more than ever.

One month later
I hear the echoes of my dear Rust's howl calling me. My time is approaching. My life has been long and fulfilling. I've gotten to raise five beautiful children. I've chased down prey to feed my packmates for countless moons. I've seen the pack grow from the small, closed off pack of my youth to the more accepting pack of my old age. I just hope it stays that way. . .I worry about where my pack will go without me. What will my siblings do without me for hunting? Will I be replaced by one of the young hunters Labradorite's training up, or will they be left to cope with just the four of us? Speaking of Labradorite. . .he's strict. He has a clear vision for the pack, but I don't know if I like it. I don't know if anyone else likes it either. He's preparing us for something, but I don't know what. He keeps sending the scouts so far away. . .I'm happy anytime Cordierite returns safely. I worry that one of these times he won't, and neither Rust nor myself will be there to comfort him. He's so independent, acts like he doesn't need anyone else, but he does. He just won't admit it.

I'm glad I got to live to see Ekanite get his first pup to watch over. I still don't think pupsitting's the right career for him. But he does seem to get joy over watching Quartz stumble around and play. So at least he's happy. I won't get to see little Bauxie grow up, though. Well, she's not so little anymore. But she's not all grown up, either. I'll miss her.

Rhyolite came to me today and told me that it looked like Rust died of natural causes. She was old. Like I am. At least I can die knowing that. And I'll get to see her again and make sure that it's true. As I lay down to close my eyes, I know it will be for the last time. I just hope my pack can continue without me. . .

Gender: Male
Sexuality: Straight, demisexual
Mate: Rust (deceased)
Children: Rhyolite, Cordierite, Jasper, Ekanite, Bauxite (only biological)
Siblings: Melanite, Hornblende, Charcoal, Cassiterite
Hunter nickname: Nyx