Posted 2022-12-17 13:40:08 (edited)
Lore by Albae
This damn rain. Possum was soaked to the bone, and her fur felt at least two pounds heavier than usual. All the usual places she used to sleep in were filled with puddles now, and as if that wouldn't be enough, she also hadn't been able to get any jobs lately. Her stomach let out an angry grumble. Yes, no jobs no food, that was the hard reality.
In hope to find some shelter, Possum decided to head for the nearby forest. There had to be a dry place somewhere.
As she walked into the shadows between the large trunks, Possum suddenly felt watched. Great, just what she needed. A fight. She was in the mood for it, that was for sure.
"Show yourself, you coward!", she growled.
A wolf stepped out behind an ancient fallen cedar. A black and white female, surely at least a head smaller than Possum. No match, she thought.
"Relax, I'm not here to fight. My name is Ailyn, I am the leader of wolves of Nemos. But you don't look like you've heard of us."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Possum snapped. Ailyn's pose wasn't threatening, but neither was it submissive. Did she honestly think she'd stand a chance if it came to a fight?
With a smirk, Ailyn replied: "Nothing, you simply don't look like you're from around here. Come with me if you like, I'll show you a safe and dry spot to sleep and let you have a meal. Maybe then your mood lightens up a bit. You're not the first traveler we've hosted."
Then she simply turned her back on Possum, and went into the direction she had come from. Surprised by so much rudeness mixed with friendly words, Possum hesitated for a moment. This kind of behavior was entirely new to her and she was unsure wither to trust this wolf, but she desperately needed to warm up, sleep and fill her stomach. But one thing was for sure, she'd better avoid getting into a fight with Ailyn. Don't mess with unpredictable enemies, that's a thing she had to learn the hard way.
So she hurried to catch up and asked: "What would I have to do for those things? Do you need me to spy on someone? Make an annoying pack member vanish?"
Ailyn looked at her like she was a lunatic. "By the moon, no! When any of my pack members vanish as long as you are around, I'll hold you responsible for it, you can be sure of that."
Possum stopped for a moment, even more confused. "But what do you want in return then?"
Ailyn shrugged. "Don't know, try to be nice? When you have the time, you could tell us about your travels. Rainy days are always easier to endure when someone has a good story to tell, no matter if it's true or not. And when you need to blow off some steam, I'm sure our hunters wouldn't mind taking you with them."
That was the easiest request Possum ever got, but better not complain about it.
Finally, they arrived at the entrance to a ravine deep in the forest. To both sides, caves led into the dark stone walls and the smell of many wolves covered the place, even though nobody was in sight.
Ailyn led her into one of the larger openings, down a tunnel into a big cave where a lot of wolves were gathered in small groups, eating, talking, playing and simply hanging out with each other. In the middle of the room, a huge pile of prey was lying around unguarded.
"As you can see, this is our main gathering cave. On days like this, most pack members prefer to stay here. Go ahead and get yourself some food. With all that noise your stomach makes, you have to be starving."
It was still hard to believe that all of this was supposed to be free.
Feeling oddly shy, Possum went over to the food pile. Shortly, she thought about taking a much-too-large piece just to see how Ailyn would react, but she quickly shook off that thought. Remember, you don't want to pick a fight with her, and you surely don't want to get kicked out into the rain again, she reminded herself.
So she took a hare from the pile, and then went into a quiet corner to eat. Many of the wolves looked over to her, but nobody came to bother her. Another thing she wasn't used to, being friendly, accepted.
After Possum finished, and watched the others for a while, and still nobody made a first move towards her, Possum started to feel... odd. Lonely, you might say -- even though she'd never admit it. So she decided to swallow her pride this one time and slowly went over to Ailyn, who was sitting with a stunning young male and a few other females. As they saw her approach, they instantly made space for her so she could sit with them.
"So, how about you introduce yourself, stranger?" Ailyn addressed her.
"Well, my name is Possum. I'm on my own, traveling around and doing all kinds of jobs to get by. It's hard, but I love it that way.", she proudly said.
They all regarded her with interest.
"Welcome to Nemos then, Possum. This is Ragnar, our lead hunter. He's the one to talk to when you want to join a party. To his right, Philomena, our most experienced scout, and to his left Lakiri, another traveler. You'll share a cave with her for now. The one to your left is Lakima, our head pupsitter. You're welcome to visit her and her fosterlings whenever you like, they'll be excited to meet you.", Ailyn introduced the others.
"You look tired, "Lakiri said softly. "I'll show you to our cave, then you can rest a bit before storytime."
Only now Possum realized how tired she actually was, now that her stomach finally stopped complaining, and her fur was drying, so she agreed and let Lakiri show her the way.
Their sleeping cave was bedded with dried moss, soft fur and feathers, and she fell asleep nearly instantly after she laid down – for the first time in weeks without feeling like she'd have to have one eye open for the rest of the night.
. . .
Living a carefree life surely had its perks but it was also rather boring. Possum hadn't been in a fight for... what, weeks?
At first, she had doubted that any pack could live in peace with all neighbors, but apparently it actually worked. However, there was one thing that she simply couldn't understand. It had been in the back of her mind for a while, and now she needed answers. So the next time she was talking to Ailyn, she asked:
"When you don't have any enemies around, why do you have so many pupsitters staying behind? Seems like you're wasting potential there."
"Is that so?" Ailyn gave her a strange look, her eyes sparkling with mischief. It was a bit concerning, normally she wasn't like this.
But of course Possum had to stand her ground now. "That's my opinion.", she replied, trying to stare Ailyn down.
"In that case, how about we make a deal? At the naming ceremony this evening, I'll assign you one puppy. You will be responsible for it until it's old enough to be on its own. If you manage that and still think it's easy, I'll consider picking more hunters and scouts. But if you give up or give me the impression you changed your mind, you have to tell me the story of that spy mission you never want to talk about – with all embarrassing details.", Ailyn suggested, not once even blinking.
Possum couldn't hold her gaze any longer and had to break the eye contact. Angry about herself for this little lost battle of mind, she growled: "Deal!"
She wasn't up to be a nanny, but really, how hard could it be? She couldn't let Ailyn win again, that much was for sure.
. . .
As it turned out, pupsitting can be very hard. Not the first weeks. Those were easy. Keep the little bug warm until mom returns. No challenge.
But from the day Mortem opened her eyes, she simply wouldn't stop trying to get away! You look away for a second and she has already made her way through half of the cave.
It only got worse when they started talking. At first, Possum had wished for this to happen so at least Mortem would understand her and they'd be able to have a conversation. She hadn't considered that once a pup starts talking, they never stop. And those endless questions! Why can't we go outside? Why can birds fly but wolves don't? Why can't trees talk? Can I eat this? Or this? When is mom coming back? It was a surprise all those pupsitters were still sane!
By the time Mortem really started walking, Possum was close to quitting, very close. All that kept her from it was her pride and for the first time she wasn't sure if it was the right choice to be stubborn right now.
Ailyn seemed very amused, it was clear she had long seen Possum's struggles and only didn't step in to see how long Possum could hold on for the only reason not to admit a failure.
After three months, Possum finally had to admit her defeat. On that day, Mortem had somehow gotten the weird idea she'd be the queen of all bees. To Possum, it seemed harmless, so she didn't intervene and let Mortem play. But as she didn't have an eye on the little bug for a minute, everything went chaos. Mortem tried to steal some honey, the angry bees stung her multiple times and even followed her when she fled to the den, causing many of the other wolves to get stung, too. Possum was one of the few walking away unharmed, what didn't exactly make the others less angry with her.
But the worst thing about this was the feeling of regret that just wouldn't leave her alone. Possum had never cared about what others thought of her, but in this place, the whole world seemed to be upside down. It hurt that they were angry at her, more than a hundred bee stings would. She had retreated to a hill a bit away from the den and hid under a large shrub with thorny vines. Possum didn't want to face the pack again just yet, she was way too ashamed of herself. How could she let that happen?
No matter how much she tried, she couldn't find rest or fall asleep. Every time she closed her eyes she heard the angry humming of the bees again, and the pained screams of Mortem and the surprised wolves at the den.
In the middle of the night, soft steps approached Possum's hideout.
"Leave me alone!", she growled. The last thing she needed right now was a sermon about her failure.
But of course, Ailyn came to her anyway. Possum curled up into a ball and hid her nose under her tail, ignoring her visitor as good as possible.
To her surprise, Ailyn didn't say anything. She just laid down next to Possum, resting her head on her paws, watching the night outside of the shrub.
"You knew something like this would happen, didn't you? Why did you let me care for a pup? Why couldn't you just say it's to protect them from their own stupid baby brains? Did you do this to laugh at me when I fail?", Possum snapped, barely holding back her tears.
Calmly, Ailyn replied: "Yes, I knew I'd set you up for failure. But I didn't laugh at you, nobody did, I promise. You desperately needed a lesson, that's why I did it. It appears to me your parents never taught you to care for another being. They didn't teach you about taking responsibility for anyone else than yourself, about kindness or moderation.
"Truth is, I don't send out more hunters because we already get by very well, and claiming more prey from the forest would sooner or later destroy the natural balance. There wouldn't be enough to go around anymore, we'd be endangered of starving and very likely to get in conflict with the neighboring packs. I have the luxury of leading a pack that doesn't need every single adult to be a hunter. I can afford to leave them behind, raise the next generation and make sure everyone's needs are met. Not every leader is that lucky. But if I would have told you so the day you asked, would you have listened?"
Possum didn't answer that. Of course she wouldn't have.
"Also, I wanted you to experience what it feels like to care about someone. I can tell you like Mortem, even though you try to hide it. That she got hurt today matters to you. Sooner or later, you might have puppies of your own. When you make your mistakes here, in a safe environment with a skilled healer, you won't make it again when you're out in the wild all on your own. Mortem will recover quickly. For a puppy you can't watch the whole day because you also have to provide food, accidents like this one can be lethal. I needed to teach you this, to protect you in the future."
Possum couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She understood now. Still, she couldn't find any words of gratitude. She didn't have any for the malestorm of feelings raging on inside of her.
"I want to leave tomorrow.", she finally managed to say, her voice breaking a bit.
She couldn't do this for another day. It was too much. Hostile environments were what Possum was used to. Being cared about, and caring for others... It confused her, there were so many feelings attached to it, so much responsibility. She wasn't ready for that, not yet. And she had the feeling that if she'd stay here any longer, she'd never leave again. She'd settle down, find friends, maybe a mate, have an ordinary life. The opposite of what she'd always wanted.
"I understand.", Ailyn said, and judging by the longing look in her eyes, she really did. She too had once been on her own, having to care for nothing but herself, being free of the weight of so many lives depending on her. If she missed it sometimes?
"Please know that you're always welcome to return here. We'll never turn you away. When you're ready to settle down, maybe think of that.", she quietly added and raised, about to leave.
"Wait!", Possum called out. She couldn't explain it, but she didn't want to be alone right now. "Would you stay with me? Just for tonight?" Her voice trembled as she asked. She'd never done this before, asking for affection. She'd never admit it, but she was too scared of getting rejected and left behind.
Ailyn laid down again, a bit closer than before, her silken fur brushing against Possum's. They spend the night together, sometimes in silence, sometimes talking, while keeping each other warm. The next morning came way too fast for Possum's taste.
Ailyn surprised her again, by walking off with her in the same direction, away from the den. At Possum's questioning glance, she said: "Won't hurt anyone when I'm not there for a day. I need to make sure you start off safely. You've become quite important to me, you know?"
Possum swallowed, suddenly feeling a big lump in her throat. They both didn't talk much as they made their way to the border and a bit farther into the next territory. At noon, Ailyn stopped and said: "I have to head back now. Don't be a stranger, send word with the crows when you need anything."
Before Possum could reply, Ailyn turned around and ran off. It took a while until Possum forced her paws to walk on in the opposite direction. Some trouble would get her mind off this place, off the black and white female and most importantly off all those weird new feelings. As she picked up the smell of coyotes, she instantly headed after them. Round up some of this food stealing bastards, that's exactly what she needed right now. And then? Who knows. Off to the next pack.
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Proxy Loves Mojaves
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